Schlockered!
Friday, May 11, 2007 at 09:18AM 
Beginnings - Part One
Schlockered in Saundersland
This is the first of a series of looking at some great beginnings to modern short stories.
In a lovely urban coincidence, the last two houses on our block were both occupied by widows who had lost their husbands in Easter European pogroms. Dad called them the Bohemians. He called anyone white with an accent a Bohemian. Whenever he saw one of the Bohemians, he greeted her by mispronouncing the Czech word for “door.” Neither Bohemian was Czech, but both were polite, so when Dad said “door” to them they answered cordially, as if he weren't perennially schlockered.
The above is the opening to The Bohemians by George Saunders, pubbed in the New Yorker in 2004 and appearing in his latest collection, Persuasion Nation. Immediately I am drawn into the unmistakable voice and wit here. I love the phrase "perennially schlockered" - I am guessing he means drunk, but even if I don't fully understand it, I am hooked, and know that I am in for a great ride. The next paragraph confirms it.
Mrs. Poltoi, the stouter Bohemian, had spent the war in a crawl space, splitting a daily potato with five cousins. Consequently she was bitter and claustrophobic and loved food. If you ate something while standing near her, she stared at it going into your mouth. She wore only black. She said the Catholic Church was a jewelled harlot drinking the blood of the poor. She said America was a spoiled child ignorant of grief. When our ball rolled onto her property, she seized it and waddled into her back yard and pitched it into the quarry.
Six sentences that give me backstory, character, and action all at once. The satire in lines like "a jewelled harlot drinking the blood of the poor" is just plain wicked and hilarious. I wonder though, because I so admire Saunders writing, if I see the humour because I know that's how he means it? It could also be read as a very sad portrait. When I read the blurbs on the back of books that declare the hilarious side-splitting contents, I feel ripped off in the worst way when there is barely a titter inside. Saunders is not laugh out loud funny, but he feels a lot like Twain or Vonnegut (who he is often compared to). But I think he is a superb craftsman - looking at those opening paragraphs confirms this for me.
Full text of The Bohemians
Reader Comments (2)
Alright already! I'll read George Saunders! Either you are paid to flog his writing upon us, or this guy can actually write. Are you in the fan club Craig?
Heh! I'm in a funny mood this morning. I went for a few drinks with socialists from the prairies, Quebec and El Salvador last night. Vive la socialiste libre!
Chuckle - you think George with all his bucks from the genius grant should be able to send a few coins my way for promoting him, but no... I am just a big old fan.
And yes, you should read him. I'll lend you a collection, you drunk socialist!
craig