Junior

Joe Lansdale offers a mojo story of the week - these have usually been published in another form before appearing on his website.

I am not starting a new thing here, and this is not quite a mojo length story, but I hope you'll enjoy this little vignette. I doubt that it will see any other form of exposure, so I present it here.

(Oh, and I do like kids, so much so that I have three of them.)

Junior

I knew the little shit hid his true intentions. The Osh-Gosh pants with the cartoon daisies smokescreened his rapacious nature. He was more powerful than he let on and when controls were lifted a sinister single-mindedness would burble to the surface.

My neighbour fluttered her eyes. "You don't mind do you? I'd get a sitter, but under these circumstances." Her botoxed lips quivered."I'll be back in less than an hour."

Those emerald irises did me in.

The little creature pushed a dump truck across the floor, interspersing his happy gurgles with vroom noises. She coo-cooed at him, retaining her illusory composure, swung the apartment door open and lit out.

Two minutes later, the phone rang and I jumped to get it. Junior launched that Tonka like he was throwing discus for the Eastern Bloc before the wall came down.

Tufts of red hair joined to form twin peaks on his head just before the dervish ran full force into my crotch. The next forty-nine minutes proved to be a battle of wits, agility, sheer determination and drool.

When she flung the door open at the sixty-two minute mark I had my foe fast asleep in my lap.

"Oh, I hope he wasn't too much trouble," Ms. Gorgeous Eyes whispered. "I know you don't have any kids."

"Hey, I resent that." I smiled and winked.

I left hoping I got the smell of bourbon out of the bottle.