Crucial Conversations

 

Tangential to what I usually write about in this blog, but I wanted to mention this book. I have been leading a class in the art of Crucial Conversations (I say, art, because I have some to see it that way). About a year ago my wife told me about the book Crucial Conversations, subtitled: Tools for Talking When the Stakes Are High.

Now you gotta know that any book that even smells of self-help improvement profundity makes me run for the hills (or gag, as the case may be.) But hey, I love my wife, so I said I'd take a gander. I can always pitch it in the garbage the next day.

So here's the weird thing - it's a helluva book. It deconstructs very well how we converse so very poorly. Crappy sentence, but basically, we don't talk good. When we find ourselves in the middle of a convo where the emotions are high, and the opinions are opposing (you know, think of a talk with your teenager... any one... every one), in these kind of convos we usually show our worst selves.

I've been thinking about it a lot - mostly because I have been leading the class - go figure that I would actually be leading a class in it, after my initial response. But anyway, if you'd like your mind opened to the art of conversation, pick up this book. The information is not really new, some of it is actually just common sense, but as always, the best teaching is reminding.

This being a fiction blog, I do wonder about how my characters converse - I am guessing badly. But that's what makes good fiction - conflict, tension, when shitty things get shittier. As long as I can keep that on the page, and be better when I am with, you know, an actual human.