Bent Highway: Chapter Twenty

Hardware

The morning sun drilled a perfect hole in the cerulean sky. I’d got up, made a couple of eggs, perfectly over easy with just the right amount of softness to the yolk, toast slathered in peanut butter, and an actual decent cup of coffee. I surprised myself with how good it was. I pulled into the parking lot of the hardware store thinking, you know this isn’t that bad a life. I got a job, they shoot me a cheque every other week, pay the bills, drink a six-pack on the weekend. It ain’t living large on the south coast of France, but it could be a helluva lot worse.

“Hey, Larry, how’s tricks?”

“Fuckin’ A. Bowled another 300 game last night.” He had the last bit of breakfast stuffed into his cheek.

“You’re an animal on the lanes.” I grabbed my red apron, and something like a piss shiver went through me. How’s tricks? Did I really say that?

I shook my head and finished tying the string at the back. I whistled a tune that I couldn’t quite place and walked over to the nail bins. Damn customers had been messing them up again, so I needed to separate the three-inchers from the two and a halfs. Bringing order to the world, that was my job.

The front door dingled and in walked the first of the days customers. A woman wearing jeans and black leather jacket that had seen better days, and one of the tallest men I’d seen. Well, never seen actually - nobody like that lived around here, I’d have noticed.

I left my buckets of nails and waltzed over, still whistling. 

“Morning, what can I help you with? A sale on the dual-flushers today - I can have our man, Larry hook you up.”

“Remember.”

I think it was the woman speaking, but the strangest damn thing is her mouth didn’t move. I looked over at the big fellow who was giving me an odd look. Kind of scared me to be honest.

“M.”

I cranked my head over to her again, she was definitely saying the words. That shivery feeling went through me again, and I felt like I might lose my over easy eggs right by the cash register.

“I, um, can help you find something if you need— oh damn.” Small circles of light flashed in the corner of my eyes, I lurched and painted the floor with my perfect breakfast. I fell down to one knee, almost doing a face plant in the puke. “I, can’t, see… what you need. What I need..”

“Come back.”

This time I think I saw her lips move. Damn, a nice pair of lips too, what would they feel like pressed up against my skin?

The door jangled hard, someone coming in a rush. The couple in front of me faded out, then in again, then out. It was like a flickering TV channel. Shit - was there something in those eggs this morning? I’d heard of that happening, gangs sprinkling LSD into stuff at the grocery store, just to mess people up.

“Oh, I’m sorry did I come at a bad time?”

The guy who had burst into the place was wearing a red plaid shirt and jeans with holes at the knees.

“I am looking for a box of drywall screws and bits for my drill.”

“Sorry, yeah, sure I can get you that.”

“Are you sure you’re up to it.” He pointed at the yellow puddle beside me.

“What? Oh no problem, just a bit of bad food this morning. Hey, Larry can you come over and give me a hand?” I yelled back to the plumbing department.

“Get stuffed!” Larry yelled back.

I turned to face the customer and just about fell over again. He was gone, and in his place was the tall guy again.

“Straddle the line.”

He had the deep voice to go with the giant body. I looked around trying to figure out where that other fellow had went. He had been slurping something out of a cup loudly, so I listened for that sound.

“M.”

“Why are you saying that? Are you clearing your throat, ahem back at yeah.” Now I was feeling pissed off. “Where the hell are you from anyway, and what happened to the girl with the white face?”

The weird TV thing happened again, and the giant’s eyes went wide as he blipped out and that fuzzy headed guy popped back in. He was yelling something but no words I knew.

“Arrrhgjgjh. Fuck!”

Well, I knew the last word.

His hair was all messy, some of it standing straight up in the air like he’s put his finger in a light socket. Something flashed in the back of my mind, it was a picture of the girl. Maybe she was from town, lived in a trailer or something. Hmmm.

“No!”

“Sorry, what did you say?”

“Noesthi arghis juxto.”

Something flashed in the store and Larry yelled from the back again.

“Get stuffed!”

“What did you say you wanted Mister?”

He smoothed down his hair again, cleared his throat.

“I am very sorry, I think I must have a bit of a bug too. I was looking for some drywall screws and some bits.”

“Right, sure. I can get those for you. Aisle five.”

I stepped over my vomit and walked over to the tool section. Fuzzy haired man followed, somehow he’d found his drink again, and I heard him slurping behind me.

I started whistling again.

“That’s a pleasant tune. What is it?”

“I dunno, been in my head all morning. An old one.”

“It’s good to enjoy your work isn’t it?”

Then it hit me. “Elvis.”

“Excuse me?”

“That’s the tune, it’s Elvis.”

“Can’t go wrong with the King.”

I reached a couple of boxes of screws off the shelf and went to hand them to him, but he didn’t have a free hand. He had a his drink from the 7-11 in one hand and long bladed knife in the other.

“You doing some hunting?” I asked.

“You could say that.”